Mentoring FAQs
I’m thinking of becoming a mentor…tell me more!
- What is mentoring?
- How much time will I have to commit to mentoring?
- Will my mentees be my friends or tutees?
- What will I gain from being a mentor?
What is mentoring?
Mentoring is about empowering people. As a student mentor, you will not tell your mentee what to do, but instead you will use and share your own experiences to ensure your mentee has the tools and confidence they need to progress towards their goals.
Mentors are supportive, ready to listen without being judgemental, and focused on providing positive, practical, and reassuring guidance. Be ready to talk through their problems in confidence and to explore options together.
How much time will I have to commit to mentoring?
The amount of time you will be required to commit to mentoring will vary depending on the scheme you join and the relationship you establish with your mentee. University-based schemes will always respect your own academic and social responsibilities, and the time commitment is unlikely to exceed one-two hours each week for each scheme’s set duration (most mentors will spend significantly less time than this).
You should pay attention to the sign-up details for the specific scheme in which you are interested, and ensure you ask the organisers if you need any further details.
Will my mentees be my friends or tutees?
No, not exactly! It should be a friendly relationship that is built on trust and mutual respect. You will act as a role model for your mentees and should maintain a professional separation and respect one another’s personal space.
This is one boundary which you must observe. It’s also important that you don’t attempt to be a tutor for your mentees, and respect Good Academic Practice at all times.
What will I gain from being a mentor?
Mentoring is an excellent volunteering opportunity, valued by employers, that will help you to develop valuable skills including communication, confidence and organisation. Mentors can also benefit from self-reflection as they share their own experiences, with a sense of personal growth.
You should think about logging the skills development you achieve through mentoring to progress towards achieving the Saints Skills Builder award: https://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/careers/improve-your-skills/saints-skills-awards/builder/.
I’m already a mentor…I need some advice about…
- I don’t get along with my mentee!
- I’m worried about my mentee…
- I don’t know how to answer my mentee’s questions…
- My mentee isn’t replying…
- How should I build a good relationship with my mentee?
- I want to meet my mentee in person…
- What should we do once our mentoring scheme has closed?
I don’t get along with my mentee!
A mentoring relationship is different from a friendship – you have both signed up to the scheme to help you achieve personal and professional goals. Remember that it is up to your partnership to define how and when you will interact. However, if you have concerns about your partnership, please contact the scheme’s organisers.
I’m worried about my mentee…
Mentoring relationships are conducted in confidence, but this does not apply where there are concerns for your mentee’s wellbeing. If you have concerns for your mentee’s wellbeing, please contact Student Services (theasc@).
I don’t know how to answer my mentee’s questions…
That’s no problem! Mentors are not expected to know everything and you shouldn’t feel bad – it would be much worse to make up answers or to try to deal with issues you’re not qualified to handle.
Be honest with your mentee about what you can help with, and then ensure that you recommend somebody more suitable for your mentee to contact: this is called signposting.
You shouldn’t speak to people on your mentee’s behalf, unless you are seriously concerned about them, in which case you should email Student Services to pass on your concerns (theasc@).
My mentee isn’t replying…
Sometimes people will sign up to be a mentee then change their mind. Don’t take it personally – they may have just decided the scheme wasn’t for them after all. If repeated attempts at contact don’t work, you should inform the scheme’s organisers and discuss with them the next steps forward.
How should I build a good relationship with my mentee?
Communication style
To establish a trusting relationship, it’s important that you don’t try to be somebody different – be yourself! Communicating in your own personal style will make both of you more comfortable, so imagine you’re having a conversation with a friend. Remember: personality is more important than punctuation.
Asking questions
Ensure that you listen to what your mentee is saying, and don’t be afraid to repeat key details back to confirm that you understand. You should ask ‘open’ questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, to encourage your mentee to say more and direct the conversation. Don’t ask too many questions right away – this could be intimidating!
Respecting time
You should be a reliable contact, responding promptly to your mentee’s queries. If you have arranged an online or an in-person meeting, ensure that you are on time. If you need to cancel, ensure you do so with as much notice as possible.
I want to meet my mentee in person…
If you have signed up for an online mentoring scheme, it’s up to you to agree with your mentee how you will contact one another. Email, Microsoft Teams, and social media are all popular options, but you must both agree which is suitable.
If you mutually decide to meet in person, then you should choose a public location like a coffee shop, a walk around town or perhaps a society event.
What should we do once our mentoring scheme has closed?
University mentoring schemes will have fixed closure dates. Once the scheme has finished, it is up to you and your mentee to decide whether you would like to keep in touch and to informally continue the partnership. There is no correct answer.
Some mentors will go on to become friends with their mentees or even adopt them as academic family. Some won’t speak again. Both are fine!